By: Bogart Lipe
Andre Drummond, who is playing like if a lovechild between Shaquille O’Neal and Steve Nash existed, can shoot free throws now. To celebrate, we’ll have an article every week whose length is based on Andre’s free throw percentage. For example, 0.500 from the line calls for a 500 word article, 0.700 is a 700 word article, and so on. So here we go. Andre Drummond is shooting 0.620 from the free throw line, so here are 620 words on the Pistons’ week.
It’s Valentine’s Day. You either love this day, or hate this day. What a perfect metaphor for the Pistons. You either love them or hate them (or love to hate them). There isn’t much grey area. After a week during which the Pistons beat the Nets, then swiftly dropped games to the Clippers, Hawks, and Pelicans, Pistons fan are tense and on edge.
There’s different ways to release the emotions that come with a week like this past one. I could go buy a few pints of ice cream and have a Me Day, sure. I could draw a bath and try to relax, sure. I could go outside and just scream my lungs out, sure.
But let’s try something different. Last week we brought you a short story about the Pistons. It was happy. Jubilant, even. But win streaks in the NBA, especially by the Pistons, are fleeting. So what could we do that could be an emotional, insightful, and deep look into the heart of a Pistons fan?
In honor of Valentine’s Day, here is a poem recapping the Pistons’ heart wrenching week.
Blake Griffin started off so great
Although the trade, some fans did hate
The team won five in a row, happiness they did create
Things changed so quickly, and sadness did await
The Pistons played four games this past week
The first a win against the Nets, so bleak
And now they’ve gone on a three game losing streak
Making fans want to scream like Mill, Meek
The tandem of Andre Drummond and Blake felt like heaven
Dre averaging the most rebounds in the league since 1997
But Blake took 21 shots against the Hawks, and only made seven
And the next game they lost to a team whose mascot is a Pelican
Nightmares of three pointers from Darius Miller
Making Pistons emotional like a song by Bryson Tiller
Nikola Mirotic with 21 and 12, apparently a killer
Except when facing Bobby Portis, made him take painkillers
Next up are the Hawks once again
Will the Pistons team feign?
Will I be able to stay sane?
Likely not, ready to experience the pain
A must win against them, or else a headache
After tomorrow’s game is the All Star Break
A week and a half off this team needs to take
To regroup with hopes of wins to make
Maybe they’ll be joined by Jackson, Reggie
Hopefully healthy, just like a veggie
And able to find comfort again, unlike a wedgie
Back to dealing out better dishes, than neighborhood Wendy’s
Until then we hope that the team can last
With Reggie Bullock and Ish Smith, so fast
Jameer Nelson and his wisdom, with his lengthy past
As James Ennis joins his new team, recast
Still equipped with young guns Stanley and Luke
Will they continue to be able to duke
Other wings, their skills hopefully not a fluke
They must be allowed to grow, there is no room for rebuke
It is tough being a Pistons fan
Every loss affecting my lifespan
Emotions swing back and forth like Tarzan
Hoping Blake and Dre can save each day like Batman
They’ll get back to their fun ways
Alley oops galore, setting the court ablaze
We must stay patient, as this is just a phase
And if not, be prepared to enter a craze
Twenty seven wins, losses totaling twenty nine
We cannot afford to be sub 0.500 for much more time
Falling behind in the standings as fans whine
Further and further like LeBron’s hairline
The Pistons play tonight at 7pm against the 18-40 Hawks, and will not play again until next Friday night against the Celtics due to the All-Star Game festivities in Los Angeles.
It’s Valentine’s Day. You either love this day, or hate this day. What a perfect metaphor for the Pistons. You either love them or hate them (or love to hate them). There isn’t much grey area. After a week during which the Pistons beat the Nets, then swiftly dropped games to the Clippers, Hawks, and Pelicans, Pistons fan are tense and on edge.
There’s different ways to release the emotions that come with a week like this past one. I could go buy a few pints of ice cream and have a Me Day, sure. I could draw a bath and try to relax, sure. I could go outside and just scream my lungs out, sure.
But let’s try something different. Last week we brought you a short story about the Pistons. It was happy. Jubilant, even. But win streaks in the NBA, especially by the Pistons, are fleeting. So what could we do that could be an emotional, insightful, and deep look into the heart of a Pistons fan?
In honor of Valentine’s Day, here is a poem recapping the Pistons’ heart wrenching week.
Blake Griffin started off so great
Although the trade, some fans did hate
The team won five in a row, happiness they did create
Things changed so quickly, and sadness did await
The Pistons played four games this past week
The first a win against the Nets, so bleak
And now they’ve gone on a three game losing streak
Making fans want to scream like Mill, Meek
The tandem of Andre Drummond and Blake felt like heaven
Dre averaging the most rebounds in the league since 1997
But Blake took 21 shots against the Hawks, and only made seven
And the next game they lost to a team whose mascot is a Pelican
Nightmares of three pointers from Darius Miller
Making Pistons emotional like a song by Bryson Tiller
Nikola Mirotic with 21 and 12, apparently a killer
Except when facing Bobby Portis, made him take painkillers
Next up are the Hawks once again
Will the Pistons team feign?
Will I be able to stay sane?
Likely not, ready to experience the pain
A must win against them, or else a headache
After tomorrow’s game is the All Star Break
A week and a half off this team needs to take
To regroup with hopes of wins to make
Maybe they’ll be joined by Jackson, Reggie
Hopefully healthy, just like a veggie
And able to find comfort again, unlike a wedgie
Back to dealing out better dishes, than neighborhood Wendy’s
Until then we hope that the team can last
With Reggie Bullock and Ish Smith, so fast
Jameer Nelson and his wisdom, with his lengthy past
As James Ennis joins his new team, recast
Still equipped with young guns Stanley and Luke
Will they continue to be able to duke
Other wings, their skills hopefully not a fluke
They must be allowed to grow, there is no room for rebuke
It is tough being a Pistons fan
Every loss affecting my lifespan
Emotions swing back and forth like Tarzan
Hoping Blake and Dre can save each day like Batman
They’ll get back to their fun ways
Alley oops galore, setting the court ablaze
We must stay patient, as this is just a phase
And if not, be prepared to enter a craze
Twenty seven wins, losses totaling twenty nine
We cannot afford to be sub 0.500 for much more time
Falling behind in the standings as fans whine
Further and further like LeBron’s hairline
The Pistons play tonight at 7pm against the 18-40 Hawks, and will not play again until next Friday night against the Celtics due to the All-Star Game festivities in Los Angeles.
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