Watching the warm ups a few thoughts came to me:
- Why don’t they all wear matching uniforms? I thought soccer was an old school game where they respect tradition? Roger Goodell could fine soccer players enough money to pay for 100 Ted Wells’ investigations.
- I learned that all the “good” players don’t travel to America to play soccer. I think that’s down right disrespectful to one of the greatest countries on earth. I mean, we send over nothing but our finest sports teams from Jacksonville to England and all we get is a bunch of guys who would Ride The Pine (subscribe on ITunes) for better teams.
- Watching the warms and I see they play keep away as a way to get loose. I could get down with that. It’s basically soccer Hors d’oeuvre. Because isn’t soccer just basically a game of keep away were sometimes they get out of control a little bit and the ball goes in the net?
All of a sudden both teams were off the field and the national anthem started. I wasn’t even done with my 3rd bratwurst by the time the game started. Early on I like the aggressive charging of the goalkeeper and trying to block his kick. Alvaro Morata is a real gambler, hence the number 21. Then the teams decided to get all soccer on me and start flopping everywhere. But there was no flopping being rewarded at the Big House. They must have thought they were playing in Crisler. While the bodies were flying on the field the fans were getting restless and decided to start the wave. A+ grade for the wave. Marcelo Vieira da Silva must have approved of the wave too because he rode that wave in tubular fashion to net the first goal of the game in the 19th minute from just outside the 18. Marcelo then decided to put the team on his back in the 26th minute with an absolute Howitzer to put up Real Madrid by 2. In that moment, Marcelo became the most dangerous Brazilian import in America since the Zika virus was reported in Florida. Later in the 36th minute Mariano Diaz scored potentially the closer, honoring so many Marianos before him.
3-0. Saying Nil is dumb. Some guy in the press box said, “Tom Brady is a great player but he cant play defense” Not sure what that has to do with this article but that take is too explosive to contain.
A pretty boring second half to start until a potential penalty in the Madrid box wasn’t called in the 62nd minute. This brought the first shower of boos on the refs. Much later than I thought it would be considering there is like 10 stories a year where soccer fans murder refs. Chelsea netted their first goal late then all of a sudden they became a shark in blood-infested waters. Scoring 2 goals in the final 25 minutes both off the foot of Eden Hazard. Hazard was the only dangerous player for Chelsea today. Then as the final whistles blew, the score was final. 3-2 in favor of Real. They caused a Brexit of their own sending the Chelsea fans back to London sad, embarrassed, and confused.
I love streakers. There were two of them late in the game and I realized 2 things. 1: Streakers need to be part of the game. The rules is that if they touch the players or the ball they get kicked off the field but until that happens they can stay on the field as long as they want. 2: When did streakers stop getting naked? These aren’t out grandfather’s streakers anymore.
Soccer was actually pretty fun. I went in there expecting something completely different and was pleasantly surprised. I know I give soccer a hard time but I respect the finesse and beauty of a well struck ball.
-Dalton “The Polish Prince” Potocki