By: Cards Fan Recruiter
Cubs fans, your wait is finally over! Most of you reading this have suffered through ten, even fifteen years without a title. Must feel pretty great to rid yourselves of that curse. If you’re a little bit older you got to watch the greatest basketball player of all-time bring six championships to the Windy City. Sure the Blackhawks have won three Stanley Cups in the past six years, but the United Center isn’t in the nicest part of town. You’ve always been a Cubs fan, Wrigley Field is so much fun! You’ll never forget sitting in your dad’s corporate seats right behind home plate, or your first beer in the bleachers.
Cubs fans, your wait is finally over! Most of you reading this have suffered through ten, even fifteen years without a title. Must feel pretty great to rid yourselves of that curse. If you’re a little bit older you got to watch the greatest basketball player of all-time bring six championships to the Windy City. Sure the Blackhawks have won three Stanley Cups in the past six years, but the United Center isn’t in the nicest part of town. You’ve always been a Cubs fan, Wrigley Field is so much fun! You’ll never forget sitting in your dad’s corporate seats right behind home plate, or your first beer in the bleachers.
You’ve been through heartbreak too. When you were eight, Steve Bartman interfered on a catch Moises Alou definitely would have made. If Alou could have recorded the 2nd out of the inning none of those 8 runs would have scored. I can’t imagine what it was like in Chicago after dropping game 7 the next day.
Oh, what’s that? You didn’t grow up in Chicago? Naperville or Highland Park still counts. You're not from Illinois? Why are you a Cubs fan? Oh, your dad’s from the Windy City. And you went to summer camp in Wisconsin. Yeah, that is close to Chicago. Their pizza is good. Yes, I too have had a layover in O’Hare extended by a delay. A mixture of caramel and cheese popcorn? That can’t be good. It’s the best? Really?
But aren't you worried it’s not going to be as fun now that the curse is over? Well sure, I’d imagine it's fun watching your team win. Yeah, a parade with all those fans does sound fun. But aren’t you going to miss being the “lovable losers?” No, that’s not your identity anymore. With a $100,000,000+ payroll and a ton of young talent you’re on the verge of a dynasty, the likes of which your city hasn’t seen since 2015. You still want to root for a lovable loser? I think I have the team for you.
But aren't you worried it’s not going to be as fun now that the curse is over? Well sure, I’d imagine it's fun watching your team win. Yeah, a parade with all those fans does sound fun. But aren’t you going to miss being the “lovable losers?” No, that’s not your identity anymore. With a $100,000,000+ payroll and a ton of young talent you’re on the verge of a dynasty, the likes of which your city hasn’t seen since 2015. You still want to root for a lovable loser? I think I have the team for you.
Are you a football fan? Oh, that’s right you like the Bears. Yeah, I've seen that SNL skit. Polish sausage, Hurricane Ditka, yeah, I remember it. Chris Farley was very funny. Are you willing to give all that up? Let me make a case for my favorite team.
Are you familiar with the Arizona Cardinals? No, that’s the baseball team. But we did play in St. Louis at one point. Come to think of it, the Arizona Cardinals were founded in Chicago before your Bears. Put your phone down! Yes, I’ve seen the skit! Yeah, those mustaches are hilarious!
Anyway, the Arizona Cardinals now have the longest title drought in American professional sports. When did they last win a title? 1947. Yes, that is more recent than 1908, but here's a fun fact about all the Cubs fans from 1908. They’re dead. Yesterday’s win meant nothing to them. If heaven is as great as I want to believe it is, I’m sure as shit not watching baseball up there.
Do the Cardinals have a venue as special and intimate as the “friendly confines?” Well it’s not exactly friendly…
But, it has a catchy name. University of Phoenix Stadium. Yeah, that online University. Why? The face of our franchise, Larry Fitzgerald, went there.
Wrigley Field is hidden within a quaint neighborhood? No, Glendale is not exactly Wrigleyville, but there are some nice cotton fields that surround the stadium. Plus, the hockey team currently (and will soon used to play) plays right next-door. You like the neighborhood bars next to Wrigley? Well, we have a strip mall close to the stadium with a Margaritaville. Yes, I've heard “Cheeseburger in Paradise.” It’s not really my type of music.
University of phoenix Stadium also offers tons of parking.
What are the fans like? For the most part they’re, uh, fine. The team only came to Arizona in 1988 so the fan base is relatively young, but it is growing.
Plus we have Cortez! Look at him!
Do we have any curses? Does inept ownership count? Oh you’re familiar with that. No we don’t have any Billy Goat type thing, but Bill Bidwill was really bad. His son Michael now runs the team though and he’s been a welcomed change.
Have the Cardinals experienced any heartbreak? We've been to the Super Bowl once, but it didn't end with anything like a fan catching a ball hit into the stands in game 6 of the NLCS with your team leading by 3 runs in the 8th inning.
You like a quirky coach who is beloved by the team's fans and media alike? He has to wear “cool glasses” too? Yeah, we got that. His name is Bruce Arians and he’s actually buddies with Joe Maddon.
That’s true, Joe Maddon does get to coach a great group of players. The Cardinals have a few all-pro caliber guys. No, our quarterback is not one of them.
Yeah the Cardinals were pretty good last year. You’re worried about looking like a bandwagon fan if the Cardinals win the Super Bowl this year? Between you and me, I don’t think that’s a real concern.
So you’re in? Oh, your grandparents live in Arizona already? The one’s from Chicago? Oh, Indiana. Yeah, I guess Chicago is near Fort Wayne. They only go down to Arizona during the winter? That works, football season overlaps with their visits. No, it won’t look weird to go with you dad to a Cardinals' game if he wears a Bears' shirt and you’re in a Cardinals' jersey. That actually is a frequent sight. As I mentioned previously, we’re a young fan base.
You want constant national attention even when your team is awful? Uh, they still throw us on national TV quite a bit, but those experiences are usually brutal. We also don’t sing and celebrate after we lose. We just go home.